A really cool person today kind of reminded me that I haven't been blogging much. I have been facebooking most stuff lately, and just started tracking my mileage on www.dailymile.com, but I DO intend to keep blogging, maybe just less frequently when races come up, or important things I wish to write about....
Where's That Confounded Bridge?
I have had far better, and I have had far, far worse runs. Sunday's 50k resonates within me still, an honest effort, a joyous day, a true representation of the highs and lows of an ultra run.
First, I ignored the race director's briefing (sorry Rob, but really, I know the route...) and was busy trying to catch up with friends who awaited the later 25k start...and someone points over my shoulder and says "you're starting..." Oh, I turn and amble out.
Up into the orange loop I am feeling vigorous and happy and I settle in behind Shelly Smithberger, Gianluca and others for a long stretch...also meet and run with Harold, the older German guy from Columbus. We must have paced ourselves right from the start because we all finish within minutes of each other 7+ hours later.
Into aid station one and Maria has decked out her Alice in Wonderland theme so well, and her volunteers are all dressed to the "tea." Most catching to my eye were super sexy Debi Glinsek as Alice in a perfect dress costume, and dapper Bob Cassill as the Mad Hatter in an identically perfect hat and suit. I kept it quick and dashed out of there.
On through the Orange I am now headed to the bridge...up, down, switchback, switchback and I know I will be close when I descend the STEEEEP switchback turn that always makes me curse when I have to come up it, just out of the covered bridge. It is a relatively new addition on the Orange course and it is one particular corner that in my mind should either be made into steps or drawn further sideways down the hill to make it less treacherous. I am there before too long and it is just as bad trying to go down it without faceplanting in the dirt.
Into the bridge! Hey Lucas! Quick fix again and I am out onto the purple loop. I cruise along mostly alone here and am soon up the root climb, out onto the road and up the dam hill, passing by Avery Ball's old place. Did they destroy the trailer there or am I imagining it on the wrong piece of land there? Over the hill and turn right into the lodge loop. Feeling good. Near the lodge I catch and hang with Mike Patton's Dad Thomas up to the lodge.
By the time I get to the lodge I am pretty ravenous from previous quick stops but I mostly grab a bunch of food and eat it walking out of there. I am finishing up my chips as I turn up the tiny road section at the bottom of the stairs and FOUR deer come bounding out the woods with hooves that clatter across the asphalt no more than 15-20 feet in front of me. I turn to an unfamiliar runner behind me and exclaim that this would be worth the price of admission alone!
Having stuffed myself at the lodge I now go into a low spot that slows me down for about a mile or so, I suspect because blood was going to my stomach to digest and I just feel the blahs, but soon I pull out of it and run on faster. Back onto the return purple and I come to Lyon's falls...I LOVE Lyon's Falls...I HATE descending down those slick steps trying not to die in the fall. It is not exactly a great skill of mine going down there. I chuck my water bottle halfway down the slope to free up hands for climbing down (will have to clean the nipple in the water below now...) and I make it unscathed somehow.
Now, on to the bridge again...it doesn't come as quickly as the first time, but it is soon in sight and I give out whoops and hollers going in to see Lucas again. Quick stop and they tell me they want to see me back in 30 minutes. I quip that the only way that is happening is if I go hide in the woods over there for 20 minutes and then walk back out. BESIDES and more importantly, there is a KISS waiting for me at the Fire Tower aid station, two miles up the hill! My daughter is volunteering (playing with the softball girls) up there and I can't wait to get there and see her!
I push uphill and soon Wild Bill catches me from behind, pushing himself even harder up the hill. He and Tara pass by, but we do spend about a mile talking and running together, but I don't try to keep with them. I go in, get my kiss (!!) and forgo my plan to climb the Fire Tower today. No need. Sorry Art, Sorry Regis Sr...I DID mean to do it in your honor, and have done it on training runs, but today wasn't my day for it.
Out of FT AS and I am running with Bruce M from NEO Trail and we share at least a mile or more before he moves on...I am starting to go through another lower period and I just do what I can. Shelly S comes back up to me and I stay with her for at least a mile or more, but let her go before getting back to the CB (WAY more than 30 minutes elapsed LOL.) I am so ready for this section to end and get on with the last segment, and I don't remember all of this Red loop because I am always going the other way, but it drags on.....and on....and on....WHERE'S THAT CONFOUNDED BRIDGE??? I come to it, and once again raise a big whoop and holler going in.
My feet are sore so I pull a trick Ray K taught me and take my shoes off and massage them hard. It sure helps but I can only do it so long because bending my leg like that makes my hamstring start to cramp up....DAMN!!! so funny. I get some energy (food), some water and head out making my big goal for the last 4.25 miles to not be caught and passed by anyone else. I stubbornly refuse to walk many times when my body asks me to, and soon I am passing more people...and by the end of the segment I have caught and passed 6 people and been caught by no one. My major victory of the day was that 4.25 mile segment and not giving up on myself.
Final Time - 7:35:50 (thanks Jim Cheney!)
I get my first buckle (feels so weird and unearned for a 50k, again, sorry Rob, but it is my truth) and I enjoy some awesome Muscle Milk Lite drinks (two, one vanilla and one chocolate) and I really think they are the primary reason I had very little soreness compared to other runs. I had more soreness from the Easter Egg 20 miler a few weeks back.
And now that is the more full account of my day. One last item, I met some really nice new friends this day (or got to know some more just a little better) including Gianluca, Shelly S, Vannessa R, Sharon S, Harold ?, and others. Some of those are from Columbus and I hope will become running friends for training runs soon!
Tuesday
I took off Monday after the 50k, although I felt fine...not much soreness to speak of, I could have run, but was being cautious I guess. So Tuesday I ran 4 fun and beautiful miles with Nick L at Pickerington Ponds and then went to basketball afterwards for two hours (3+ miles of back and forth sprinting.) I pushed it at basketball and ran harder than anyone there - I try to pretend like I am Anderson Varejao and run and play harder than anyone else, and at the least that gets me some unexpected scores/blocks/rebounds/passes that my talent would not otherwise net me. It really does work in basketball to just put yourself out there and try harder sometimes.
Today I am sitting all day in Teterboro and could have went for a run, but I am going to let the legs recover some more and plan on running later tonight.
Mohican Forget the PR 50k
Awesome race yesterday. I ran this 50k in 7:35:50 (good pace for me) and really enjoyed it. I pushed through two really hard stretches and my main issue was my feet feeling sore from carrying all this me around.
I really had fun running with Gianluca, Harold, Vanessa, Sharon, Thomas Patton, Suzanne, Wild Bill, Tara, Bruce M, Shelly S, Cheryl, and more! I missed meeting some people I planned to like Julie Bowen-Miller and got to see Beth and meet her husband at the start, they ran the 25k.
I ran really strong all the way up to the Firetower I would say because my daughter was their volunteering and I wanted to see/check on her. I took a longer break there, maybe 5 minutes, but she was playing with all the girls there, so I left after a bit and headed down the dusty trail. I lost a lot of time over the next 3.5 miles as I really was hurting, but recovered for the last push of about 4.25 and passed 6 people on that stretch, really pushing myself to persevere.
Awesome race, awesome volunteers (especially my daughter!) and a great day with moderate temps!
I really had fun running with Gianluca, Harold, Vanessa, Sharon, Thomas Patton, Suzanne, Wild Bill, Tara, Bruce M, Shelly S, Cheryl, and more! I missed meeting some people I planned to like Julie Bowen-Miller and got to see Beth and meet her husband at the start, they ran the 25k.
I ran really strong all the way up to the Firetower I would say because my daughter was their volunteering and I wanted to see/check on her. I took a longer break there, maybe 5 minutes, but she was playing with all the girls there, so I left after a bit and headed down the dusty trail. I lost a lot of time over the next 3.5 miles as I really was hurting, but recovered for the last push of about 4.25 and passed 6 people on that stretch, really pushing myself to persevere.
Awesome race, awesome volunteers (especially my daughter!) and a great day with moderate temps!
Ninja Night
I had an awesome night sneaking around and running 8.1 miles with Mark C. Ran really pretty strong (for me) and got in 8.1 miles. I am doing a lot better with regular running and getting back in the groove. Sunday is the Forget the PR 50k at Mohican and I am targeting about a 7-8 hour finish...how is that for vague??? Really though, in 31 miles so much can happen. If I feel great...sure, 7 hours. If not, who cares!? I am running at Mohican, an extra hour is an extra hour of my dreamland. Looking forward to seeing everyone there!
updates.
haven't been blogging as much, kinda busy. been adding mileage in stealthy like. 11 miles Saturday with N Billock, 6.6 miles Sunday alone...7 miles Monday alone...basketball tonight and a short run possible...doing pretty good, but I can always do better!
Big post coming SOON (tonight?) about a planned 12 hour solo run (unless some idiot wants to join me!)
weekend running
Friday night, lifted including squats and leg presses with Melissa C, then we ran 5.5 miles at a decent clip. Next was Saturday morning at 7am to run 20 miles with Brian, Jeff, and Jamie Musick. I was useless for the last 10, walking a lot because of how tired the previous night made my legs, but I hope the time on tired legs did me good for ultras, etc. Now to just put in and easy few tonight and keep a streak going.
Circle Circle
Last two days were two repeat airport circles. Wednesday I did Richmond and Thursday I did Teterboro. Good fun!
Autumn's response to Love Triangle
My Daddy Is A-W-E-S-O-M-E!
so much depends upon my daddy
always wanting to be with me
and even I am waiting for him.
(Inspired by: Willam Carlos Willams)
By :Autumn Keller
Love Triangle (epiphanies)
I actually DO believe that some things are better kept private, and in general I guess maybe some people would believe that the stuff I am about to relate might fall squarely into that category. I feel compelled tonight to write about a situation I find myself in and really, I guess I don't care if I share it with the whole world. Since my divorce two years ago I have dated some, and even had a steady girlfriend for a while, but so close to being divorced I don't think I was really ready for love to find me.
So lately I have really found myself less and less inclined to even "look" if that is what you want to call it. There are so many other things in life that can justifiably deserve my attention that I don't feel like I need a girlfriend. Don't they say that when you stop looking for love, that is when it finds you?
OK, the meat of it, so I have had what you might call two separate "blind dates" with girls that I had no idea ahead of time what to really expect from. I didn't know what they would look like ahead of time. I had no idea of their individual personalities. No history to speak of. Just, here they are in the world, meet these girls. Hope you like them...
Now, they are BOTH incredible, fantastic, unbelievable. I don't think it would be a stretch in any form to state that I love both deeply already in the short time we have had together. Both girls are 100% aware of the other and (as weird as it might seem) they are fully aware of my love for both. And OK with it. Is it getting weird for you yet? Neither one wants me to forsake the other in order to maintain our love.
I realize the privilege that I have been granted just spending time with them. Even fleeting moments of time together have taken on great meaning to me. Whether we have been hiking, at a movie, dinner, or in the park together, when I am with either of these fine girls I find myself cherishing the moments of life more than ever before. Is it because of the loss(es) I suffered during the time of my divorce? Is it because of all that happened to me and all that I lost in 2008 that I can now soak in the smallest of life's joys to this deepest extent? I am not sure of the exact why and how, but I can tell you that I am sucking the marrow out of life right now.
I think most people who find themselves in a "love triangle" are torn and stressed out and feel as if they have to find a "solution." I am fortunate because both girls know about each other, know about my love(s), and are so perfectly happy with the situation that I will never have to choose one over the other. You see, my first love comes from a "blind date" I had back in 2002, and my newest love comes from a more recent "blind date" in 2008. Here are a few pictures of each.
Blind Date #1 (2002)
Blind Date #2 (2008)
The time that I have had to spend away from my daughters since my divorce has only served to entrench in me the privilege I have been given in my role as their father. Even if I had what I consider to be the unparalleled literary talent of a Mark Carroll, I do not think I could find ways to describe to you the casual reader of my ramblings, how truly I feel for these little women. Is it verbal hyperbole to assert to you that I would give my life for either of them? I truly believe I could do that.
In the smallest moment with either of them, I find my greatest triumph, my exaltation of success against any wind, hail, storm, or torment that life can throw my way. When they worry, and seek solace in me, I win. When they hurt, and count on me to bind the wound, I prevail. When their hearts are warmed, and they have found that warmth in my eyes, my words, my deeds, I am the victor of unchallenged prowess.
This love in my life can easily be all that I ever need, and if a different kind of love finds me one day and the shape of love in my life should change, well I will deal with it then. For now, I am not seeking, I am found.
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Thursday, May 20, 2010
Blogslack
A really cool person today kind of reminded me that I haven't been blogging much. I have been facebooking most stuff lately, and just started tracking my mileage on www.dailymile.com, but I DO intend to keep blogging, maybe just less frequently when races come up, or important things I wish to write about....
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Where's That Confounded Bridge?
I have had far better, and I have had far, far worse runs. Sunday's 50k resonates within me still, an honest effort, a joyous day, a true representation of the highs and lows of an ultra run.
First, I ignored the race director's briefing (sorry Rob, but really, I know the route...) and was busy trying to catch up with friends who awaited the later 25k start...and someone points over my shoulder and says "you're starting..." Oh, I turn and amble out.
Up into the orange loop I am feeling vigorous and happy and I settle in behind Shelly Smithberger, Gianluca and others for a long stretch...also meet and run with Harold, the older German guy from Columbus. We must have paced ourselves right from the start because we all finish within minutes of each other 7+ hours later.
Into aid station one and Maria has decked out her Alice in Wonderland theme so well, and her volunteers are all dressed to the "tea." Most catching to my eye were super sexy Debi Glinsek as Alice in a perfect dress costume, and dapper Bob Cassill as the Mad Hatter in an identically perfect hat and suit. I kept it quick and dashed out of there.
On through the Orange I am now headed to the bridge...up, down, switchback, switchback and I know I will be close when I descend the STEEEEP switchback turn that always makes me curse when I have to come up it, just out of the covered bridge. It is a relatively new addition on the Orange course and it is one particular corner that in my mind should either be made into steps or drawn further sideways down the hill to make it less treacherous. I am there before too long and it is just as bad trying to go down it without faceplanting in the dirt.
Into the bridge! Hey Lucas! Quick fix again and I am out onto the purple loop. I cruise along mostly alone here and am soon up the root climb, out onto the road and up the dam hill, passing by Avery Ball's old place. Did they destroy the trailer there or am I imagining it on the wrong piece of land there? Over the hill and turn right into the lodge loop. Feeling good. Near the lodge I catch and hang with Mike Patton's Dad Thomas up to the lodge.
By the time I get to the lodge I am pretty ravenous from previous quick stops but I mostly grab a bunch of food and eat it walking out of there. I am finishing up my chips as I turn up the tiny road section at the bottom of the stairs and FOUR deer come bounding out the woods with hooves that clatter across the asphalt no more than 15-20 feet in front of me. I turn to an unfamiliar runner behind me and exclaim that this would be worth the price of admission alone!
Having stuffed myself at the lodge I now go into a low spot that slows me down for about a mile or so, I suspect because blood was going to my stomach to digest and I just feel the blahs, but soon I pull out of it and run on faster. Back onto the return purple and I come to Lyon's falls...I LOVE Lyon's Falls...I HATE descending down those slick steps trying not to die in the fall. It is not exactly a great skill of mine going down there. I chuck my water bottle halfway down the slope to free up hands for climbing down (will have to clean the nipple in the water below now...) and I make it unscathed somehow.
Now, on to the bridge again...it doesn't come as quickly as the first time, but it is soon in sight and I give out whoops and hollers going in to see Lucas again. Quick stop and they tell me they want to see me back in 30 minutes. I quip that the only way that is happening is if I go hide in the woods over there for 20 minutes and then walk back out. BESIDES and more importantly, there is a KISS waiting for me at the Fire Tower aid station, two miles up the hill! My daughter is volunteering (playing with the softball girls) up there and I can't wait to get there and see her!
I push uphill and soon Wild Bill catches me from behind, pushing himself even harder up the hill. He and Tara pass by, but we do spend about a mile talking and running together, but I don't try to keep with them. I go in, get my kiss (!!) and forgo my plan to climb the Fire Tower today. No need. Sorry Art, Sorry Regis Sr...I DID mean to do it in your honor, and have done it on training runs, but today wasn't my day for it.
Out of FT AS and I am running with Bruce M from NEO Trail and we share at least a mile or more before he moves on...I am starting to go through another lower period and I just do what I can. Shelly S comes back up to me and I stay with her for at least a mile or more, but let her go before getting back to the CB (WAY more than 30 minutes elapsed LOL.) I am so ready for this section to end and get on with the last segment, and I don't remember all of this Red loop because I am always going the other way, but it drags on.....and on....and on....WHERE'S THAT CONFOUNDED BRIDGE??? I come to it, and once again raise a big whoop and holler going in.
My feet are sore so I pull a trick Ray K taught me and take my shoes off and massage them hard. It sure helps but I can only do it so long because bending my leg like that makes my hamstring start to cramp up....DAMN!!! so funny. I get some energy (food), some water and head out making my big goal for the last 4.25 miles to not be caught and passed by anyone else. I stubbornly refuse to walk many times when my body asks me to, and soon I am passing more people...and by the end of the segment I have caught and passed 6 people and been caught by no one. My major victory of the day was that 4.25 mile segment and not giving up on myself.
Final Time - 7:35:50 (thanks Jim Cheney!)
I get my first buckle (feels so weird and unearned for a 50k, again, sorry Rob, but it is my truth) and I enjoy some awesome Muscle Milk Lite drinks (two, one vanilla and one chocolate) and I really think they are the primary reason I had very little soreness compared to other runs. I had more soreness from the Easter Egg 20 miler a few weeks back.
And now that is the more full account of my day. One last item, I met some really nice new friends this day (or got to know some more just a little better) including Gianluca, Shelly S, Vannessa R, Sharon S, Harold ?, and others. Some of those are from Columbus and I hope will become running friends for training runs soon!
Tuesday
I took off Monday after the 50k, although I felt fine...not much soreness to speak of, I could have run, but was being cautious I guess. So Tuesday I ran 4 fun and beautiful miles with Nick L at Pickerington Ponds and then went to basketball afterwards for two hours (3+ miles of back and forth sprinting.) I pushed it at basketball and ran harder than anyone there - I try to pretend like I am Anderson Varejao and run and play harder than anyone else, and at the least that gets me some unexpected scores/blocks/rebounds/passes that my talent would not otherwise net me. It really does work in basketball to just put yourself out there and try harder sometimes.
Today I am sitting all day in Teterboro and could have went for a run, but I am going to let the legs recover some more and plan on running later tonight.
Monday, April 19, 2010
Mohican Forget the PR 50k
Awesome race yesterday. I ran this 50k in 7:35:50 (good pace for me) and really enjoyed it. I pushed through two really hard stretches and my main issue was my feet feeling sore from carrying all this me around.
I really had fun running with Gianluca, Harold, Vanessa, Sharon, Thomas Patton, Suzanne, Wild Bill, Tara, Bruce M, Shelly S, Cheryl, and more! I missed meeting some people I planned to like Julie Bowen-Miller and got to see Beth and meet her husband at the start, they ran the 25k.
I ran really strong all the way up to the Firetower I would say because my daughter was their volunteering and I wanted to see/check on her. I took a longer break there, maybe 5 minutes, but she was playing with all the girls there, so I left after a bit and headed down the dusty trail. I lost a lot of time over the next 3.5 miles as I really was hurting, but recovered for the last push of about 4.25 and passed 6 people on that stretch, really pushing myself to persevere.
Awesome race, awesome volunteers (especially my daughter!) and a great day with moderate temps!
I really had fun running with Gianluca, Harold, Vanessa, Sharon, Thomas Patton, Suzanne, Wild Bill, Tara, Bruce M, Shelly S, Cheryl, and more! I missed meeting some people I planned to like Julie Bowen-Miller and got to see Beth and meet her husband at the start, they ran the 25k.
I ran really strong all the way up to the Firetower I would say because my daughter was their volunteering and I wanted to see/check on her. I took a longer break there, maybe 5 minutes, but she was playing with all the girls there, so I left after a bit and headed down the dusty trail. I lost a lot of time over the next 3.5 miles as I really was hurting, but recovered for the last push of about 4.25 and passed 6 people on that stretch, really pushing myself to persevere.
Awesome race, awesome volunteers (especially my daughter!) and a great day with moderate temps!
Friday, April 16, 2010
Ninja Night
I had an awesome night sneaking around and running 8.1 miles with Mark C. Ran really pretty strong (for me) and got in 8.1 miles. I am doing a lot better with regular running and getting back in the groove. Sunday is the Forget the PR 50k at Mohican and I am targeting about a 7-8 hour finish...how is that for vague??? Really though, in 31 miles so much can happen. If I feel great...sure, 7 hours. If not, who cares!? I am running at Mohican, an extra hour is an extra hour of my dreamland. Looking forward to seeing everyone there!
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
updates.
haven't been blogging as much, kinda busy. been adding mileage in stealthy like. 11 miles Saturday with N Billock, 6.6 miles Sunday alone...7 miles Monday alone...basketball tonight and a short run possible...doing pretty good, but I can always do better!
Big post coming SOON (tonight?) about a planned 12 hour solo run (unless some idiot wants to join me!)
Sunday, April 04, 2010
weekend running
Friday night, lifted including squats and leg presses with Melissa C, then we ran 5.5 miles at a decent clip. Next was Saturday morning at 7am to run 20 miles with Brian, Jeff, and Jamie Musick. I was useless for the last 10, walking a lot because of how tired the previous night made my legs, but I hope the time on tired legs did me good for ultras, etc. Now to just put in and easy few tonight and keep a streak going.
Friday, April 02, 2010
Circle Circle
Last two days were two repeat airport circles. Wednesday I did Richmond and Thursday I did Teterboro. Good fun!
Monday, March 29, 2010
Autumn's response to Love Triangle
My Daddy Is A-W-E-S-O-M-E!
so much depends upon my daddy
always wanting to be with me
and even I am waiting for him.
(Inspired by: Willam Carlos Willams)
By :Autumn Keller
Love Triangle (epiphanies)
I actually DO believe that some things are better kept private, and in general I guess maybe some people would believe that the stuff I am about to relate might fall squarely into that category. I feel compelled tonight to write about a situation I find myself in and really, I guess I don't care if I share it with the whole world. Since my divorce two years ago I have dated some, and even had a steady girlfriend for a while, but so close to being divorced I don't think I was really ready for love to find me.
So lately I have really found myself less and less inclined to even "look" if that is what you want to call it. There are so many other things in life that can justifiably deserve my attention that I don't feel like I need a girlfriend. Don't they say that when you stop looking for love, that is when it finds you?
OK, the meat of it, so I have had what you might call two separate "blind dates" with girls that I had no idea ahead of time what to really expect from. I didn't know what they would look like ahead of time. I had no idea of their individual personalities. No history to speak of. Just, here they are in the world, meet these girls. Hope you like them...
Now, they are BOTH incredible, fantastic, unbelievable. I don't think it would be a stretch in any form to state that I love both deeply already in the short time we have had together. Both girls are 100% aware of the other and (as weird as it might seem) they are fully aware of my love for both. And OK with it. Is it getting weird for you yet? Neither one wants me to forsake the other in order to maintain our love.
I realize the privilege that I have been granted just spending time with them. Even fleeting moments of time together have taken on great meaning to me. Whether we have been hiking, at a movie, dinner, or in the park together, when I am with either of these fine girls I find myself cherishing the moments of life more than ever before. Is it because of the loss(es) I suffered during the time of my divorce? Is it because of all that happened to me and all that I lost in 2008 that I can now soak in the smallest of life's joys to this deepest extent? I am not sure of the exact why and how, but I can tell you that I am sucking the marrow out of life right now.
I think most people who find themselves in a "love triangle" are torn and stressed out and feel as if they have to find a "solution." I am fortunate because both girls know about each other, know about my love(s), and are so perfectly happy with the situation that I will never have to choose one over the other. You see, my first love comes from a "blind date" I had back in 2002, and my newest love comes from a more recent "blind date" in 2008. Here are a few pictures of each.
Blind Date #1 (2002)
Blind Date #2 (2008)
The time that I have had to spend away from my daughters since my divorce has only served to entrench in me the privilege I have been given in my role as their father. Even if I had what I consider to be the unparalleled literary talent of a Mark Carroll, I do not think I could find ways to describe to you the casual reader of my ramblings, how truly I feel for these little women. Is it verbal hyperbole to assert to you that I would give my life for either of them? I truly believe I could do that.
In the smallest moment with either of them, I find my greatest triumph, my exaltation of success against any wind, hail, storm, or torment that life can throw my way. When they worry, and seek solace in me, I win. When they hurt, and count on me to bind the wound, I prevail. When their hearts are warmed, and they have found that warmth in my eyes, my words, my deeds, I am the victor of unchallenged prowess.
This love in my life can easily be all that I ever need, and if a different kind of love finds me one day and the shape of love in my life should change, well I will deal with it then. For now, I am not seeking, I am found.
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